Oh!! Snap!

Wow! It's been awhile since I posted... I guess my gimpyness has made it to my head!

Tomorrow is my big day. I go to the Dr. and get this cast cut off and, by some slight chance at a miracle, I might only have to wear one of those black boots for the last 4 weeks! Not sure if I can mentally handle another 4 weeks in a cast. BUT, I think I am done with the crutches, THANK GOD!!!!

So, Tracy... Your blog on us being stupid kids together brought on a ton of memories, some I would like to forget, some that made me sad, but the majority of them made me laugh so hard I almost pee'd my pants!

For instance...riding our bikes down hills with no brakes; dropping buckets of rocks on your toes; bugs that we thought were dead beginning to spin on needles stuck through their bodies; playing kissing tag with the nieghborhood boys (Ew. Gross.), eating Ramen Noodles; eating two hand-fulls of popcorn before my sister got ahold of the bowl; Breyer Horses; My Little Pony castles; riding our bikes to Scott's to buy candy for 10 cents (that really makes us sound OLD!!!); there are many more, most of which make me glad I had you as a friend growing up and still today!

I'm glad to be an "adult" now, I think... I definately wouldn't want to be a teenager again, and the tween years weren't so much fun that I'd want to do them again either.

There is a feeling of accomplishment (and survival) when I look back over the adventure of my life so far. I've never been at a better place in my life as I am right now. Even though there are days I hate my job, hate my mother, none of my jeans fit the way they used too, and Trevor hogged the bed all night last night... But it's still good.

Life is good, complaining about it is like sitting in a rocking chair; it gives you something to do, but you sure as hell don't get anywhere.

Life as a Gimp...***sniff,sniff**

I remember being a kid and seeing someone on crutches and thinking,"That would be so cool to have to use those!" But now, 3 weeks into my 10 week stint with MY crutches, I would love to go back in time and beat the shit out of that little twerp!

The first obstacle: I live on the 3rd floor. No elevator. Do I need to say more? Of course I do! 3 flights of stairs on crutches is, at this point, the equivalent of climbing Mt. Everest. Which I always wanted to climb so I guess this was God's cruel yet loving way of giving me what I wanted! Carlos was following me down one day and I leaned a little too far forward and started to fall, he reached out and caught the hood of my sweatshirt which jerked the zipper up to my throat and produced a sound quite like that of Homer choking Bart. It was a nice catch and I had to sit down because I was laughing so hard.

Second obstacle: Public places. I swear to you, people have never seen another person on crutches. I went to Happy Sumo the other night with a group of friends and as I hobbled through the restaurant, you would have though I was a girl walking on crutches with no legs and possibly no arms! True, it is an amazing feat to use crutches and I am a highly skilled pro at this point, but it made me think, "Dammit, did one of my boobs fall out of my shirt???" The way people were staring! And when I was standing outside waiting for our table this guy walks up to me and asks, "So which one should I kick?"...What the hell is that? I'm sure that guy walks up to someone with no hands and says, "Hey! High-five!"

Don't even get me started on Public Bathrooms!

Third obstacle: Public doors. I never truly appreciated those pads by the doors at the mall that you push and the door opens...until I realized that hardly any doors have them! I was trying to exit a building the other day, and in order to do so, I have to swing the door open really wide and then stop the door with the rubber end of my crutch. Well, in doing this a nice looking guy runs over to help out and as I smile and say, "Oh, no worries, but thank you!" and try to make my next move...the rubber part at the bottom of the crutch got stuck under the door and it jerked the crutch right out from under my arm and the poor guy almost had to catch me. SO Embarrassed!!!

There are many more obstacles, but I must say that there are a few advantages to having crutches:

1. Crowds part like the Red Sea
2. You should feel my arms!!
3. Sympathy votes when I'm standing in lines.
4. I always get offered a seat, and when I am being sat at a restaurant, I usually get to pick which table I want!
5. Pain meds. No explanation needed.
6. An Excuse. I have the mother of all excuses to not have to do certain things.

Have any of you ever had a go on crutches? Let me know!

Ciao!

UGh...

I'm still at home, sitting and waiting for the pain to ease and for my sanity to come back... If you see it, let it know that I miss it and I would be gracious for it's return.

Sitting at home for almost two weeks now, trying to get around my house with an ungodly large cast and on crutches has left me delirious and in tears for the vast past of this week.

I wake each morning with great expectations for the day and yet the moment that I roll over and have shooting pain through my foot and see my crutches propped up against the wall by my bed, I feel like rolling back over and staying there.

Showering is fun too...I break into a sweat just trying to get read for it. I have to sit on the floor and pull this commercial grade plastic bag over my cast, wrap a hand towel around the top of the cast, which prevents any water that sneaks by the "OTHER" stuff from leaking down into the cast. Then I Velcro the top shut with a strap, so tight I can immediately feel my toes swell and change color, and then another strap, that I believe is the same likeness to a wet suit type material that also is touriqueted around my leg on top of everything else.

Want to try something fun? Try getting into your shower and only use one leg. Let me tell you, if you can find some way that's more glamorous than the way I've found, let me know! LOL! If you make it in...wash your whole body and wash your hair standing on one leg...the whole time. Piece of cake!

Carlos has been awesome, of course... I cried most of this morning because I know how great he is and how I resemble a large sack of rocks right now. And he still loves me, what a guy!

I actually attempted work yesterday. Attempted is the exact word for it. I lasted till noon. Not bad, but like I've said today I'm out for the count!

I'm sorry I'll stop bitching...it's the roughest day so far. Almost 2 weeks down and only 6 more to go...Wish me luck!