Life as a Gimp...***sniff,sniff**

I remember being a kid and seeing someone on crutches and thinking,"That would be so cool to have to use those!" But now, 3 weeks into my 10 week stint with MY crutches, I would love to go back in time and beat the shit out of that little twerp!

The first obstacle: I live on the 3rd floor. No elevator. Do I need to say more? Of course I do! 3 flights of stairs on crutches is, at this point, the equivalent of climbing Mt. Everest. Which I always wanted to climb so I guess this was God's cruel yet loving way of giving me what I wanted! Carlos was following me down one day and I leaned a little too far forward and started to fall, he reached out and caught the hood of my sweatshirt which jerked the zipper up to my throat and produced a sound quite like that of Homer choking Bart. It was a nice catch and I had to sit down because I was laughing so hard.

Second obstacle: Public places. I swear to you, people have never seen another person on crutches. I went to Happy Sumo the other night with a group of friends and as I hobbled through the restaurant, you would have though I was a girl walking on crutches with no legs and possibly no arms! True, it is an amazing feat to use crutches and I am a highly skilled pro at this point, but it made me think, "Dammit, did one of my boobs fall out of my shirt???" The way people were staring! And when I was standing outside waiting for our table this guy walks up to me and asks, "So which one should I kick?"...What the hell is that? I'm sure that guy walks up to someone with no hands and says, "Hey! High-five!"

Don't even get me started on Public Bathrooms!

Third obstacle: Public doors. I never truly appreciated those pads by the doors at the mall that you push and the door opens...until I realized that hardly any doors have them! I was trying to exit a building the other day, and in order to do so, I have to swing the door open really wide and then stop the door with the rubber end of my crutch. Well, in doing this a nice looking guy runs over to help out and as I smile and say, "Oh, no worries, but thank you!" and try to make my next move...the rubber part at the bottom of the crutch got stuck under the door and it jerked the crutch right out from under my arm and the poor guy almost had to catch me. SO Embarrassed!!!

There are many more obstacles, but I must say that there are a few advantages to having crutches:

1. Crowds part like the Red Sea
2. You should feel my arms!!
3. Sympathy votes when I'm standing in lines.
4. I always get offered a seat, and when I am being sat at a restaurant, I usually get to pick which table I want!
5. Pain meds. No explanation needed.
6. An Excuse. I have the mother of all excuses to not have to do certain things.

Have any of you ever had a go on crutches? Let me know!

Ciao!

UGh...

I'm still at home, sitting and waiting for the pain to ease and for my sanity to come back... If you see it, let it know that I miss it and I would be gracious for it's return.

Sitting at home for almost two weeks now, trying to get around my house with an ungodly large cast and on crutches has left me delirious and in tears for the vast past of this week.

I wake each morning with great expectations for the day and yet the moment that I roll over and have shooting pain through my foot and see my crutches propped up against the wall by my bed, I feel like rolling back over and staying there.

Showering is fun too...I break into a sweat just trying to get read for it. I have to sit on the floor and pull this commercial grade plastic bag over my cast, wrap a hand towel around the top of the cast, which prevents any water that sneaks by the "OTHER" stuff from leaking down into the cast. Then I Velcro the top shut with a strap, so tight I can immediately feel my toes swell and change color, and then another strap, that I believe is the same likeness to a wet suit type material that also is touriqueted around my leg on top of everything else.

Want to try something fun? Try getting into your shower and only use one leg. Let me tell you, if you can find some way that's more glamorous than the way I've found, let me know! LOL! If you make it in...wash your whole body and wash your hair standing on one leg...the whole time. Piece of cake!

Carlos has been awesome, of course... I cried most of this morning because I know how great he is and how I resemble a large sack of rocks right now. And he still loves me, what a guy!

I actually attempted work yesterday. Attempted is the exact word for it. I lasted till noon. Not bad, but like I've said today I'm out for the count!

I'm sorry I'll stop bitching...it's the roughest day so far. Almost 2 weeks down and only 6 more to go...Wish me luck!

So there you have it. Five surgeries later and I end up with seven total screws, a bone graft and a titanium plate.


Surgery only lasted an hour and a half, but it took me two hours to finally wake up from the anesthetic. I had a nerve block in the back of my leg which made pretty much all of yesterday a piece of cake, but let me tell you...at 3:00 in the morning, my cake walk was WAY over!

For those of you that have had surgeries in the past, you'll know that the doctor always says, "you'll be in a fair amount of pain later tonight, so here are a few prescriptions." Awesome. Thanks Doc.

I would have ended up like Heath Ledger if I was going to take enough Percocet 10's to stay on top of THAT "fair amount of pain"...Good lord, it hurt.

Carlos, of course is being a CHAMP! He gets frustrated if I reach too far for my glass of water on the coffee table, he waits outside the bathroom door to help me when I'm done, and I think He has run to the store half a dozen times already to grab whatever he can for me. AND when I got home from the hospital yesterday there was an arrangement of Callalillies on my counter, my favorite, and he remembered.

I should give a shout out to my mom for staying there and bringing me a teddy bear to hold on too while I waited to be taken to the OR. To my Grandpa for showing up and providing some much needed comic relief and for the great message from Tracy that was waiting for me on my cell.

Thanks everyone!

I need to go back and get off this sucker, just sitting here at the computer hurts. I'll write more later!

Ciao!

Into the Wild...

So, I watched this movie last night with Carlos...more so, we experienced this movie.

It comes across as your low-budget, Sundance film festival type movie, but it is one of thse movies where you turn it off and are silent for minutes, even hours later.

Here is the plot summary:

Based on a true story. After graduating from Emory University in 1992, top student and athlete Christopher McCandless abandoned his possessions, gave his entire $24,000 savings account to charity and hitchhiked to Alaska to live in the wilderness. Along the way, Christopher encounters a series of characters who shape his life. Written by Lisa Kelley

Doesn't sound so hot, but I read the book and really enjoyed the movie.

I sat for a bit afterward and even as I layed in bed trying to go to sleep, and mentally worked through the movie. Could I do wht he did? He basically gets fed up with the world and all of the superficial BS and monetary stuff, ditches everything he has and takes off on this journey with just a few provisions.

It really makes you take a look at your life and put value on the things that really matter.

It is "R" rated due to some nudity and some language through out, and it's 2 1/2 hours long. I cried, I laughed, I was in shock and I wondered. Don't watch it looking for a Hollywood Blockbuster, it's not, but if you watch it looking for the underlying meaning to why this guy did what he did, you'll really enjoy it!

Let me know if this would be something you would watch...if leaving everything behind is something you could do, or something you've thought about doing...

Ciao for now!

The Countdown starts....

So, my surgery is in 9 days...and counting. And I'm worried.

Those of you who know me well, know what I've been through but for those of you that don't I'll explain. They always say that talking about things makes them better, so here is goes...

In July of 2006, I was in a car accident which was not my fault. A 16 year old kid ran a red light and I hit him broadside and it totalled both cars. My nose was broken and my foot was crushed.

I'm going in for my 5th surgery on it the 21st. The last major one I had on it in November of '06 left me out of work for two months and on IV meds for a month because the Doctor cut one of the pins too short and it recessed into my foot giving me a severe staph infection that landed me in Intensive Care for a few days and and entire week in the hospital.

I faced death square in the face and actually told my mother "Goodbye" and that I loved her... She ran screaming out of my room for the nurses as I literally slipped out of consciousness. It was scary...to say the least.

So, the surgery didn't take...well, the bone grafts didn't take and my foot is technically still broken. Which is why in 9 days I will go in to have the bones cut apart, the arthritic bone taken out, re-grafting, a titanium plate and screws put back in, and some sort of "bone cement" injected into the joints of my foot...pleasant eh?

Before the surgery in November the Doctor tried to remove the pin that had recessed, he decided to attempt this IN HIS OFFICE! No anesthetic (Novocaine doesn't "take" in infected tissue), no stick to bite down on, and no "mind-numbing" drugs... Just me, my mom, the Doctor and a pair of needle-nose pliers. I'm not kidding folks, pliers. That was one of those times I WISH I could have passed out, but I didn't.

When he realized that it was going to come out, they took me to the ER (Hey! Now there's a thought!!) Here's my point I'm trying to make: In front of my Mom and Dad and my Grandfather he said, "I take full responsibility for this, I cut the pin too short."

I'm sure you are asking, "Why in the hell would you go back to him?" I know, but he actually is the best rated doctor for this kind of stuff in the state.

So, my question to all of you? Do some doctor's just make mistakes? Or should I sue the pants off of him? Let me know... and, on a side note...I've received a bill from him for EVERYTHING!

Let me know! I would appreciate some outside input on this!

Dinner Anyone?

So, last night I had 7 people over for dinner. Possible in-laws, if you catch my drift. It was awesome. You should have seen my spread! Crab Legs, Lemon-Dill Grilled Salmon, Top Sirloin Steaks, Garlic & Butter Prawns, Spinach Salad, Pasta, Rolls AND Dessert! Mmmm, it was delish!

Two things I would like to discuss today.

First, there is one GREAT reason to have company over, at least at my house... Great company, good food, you might ask... Nope! My house is SO DAMN CLEAN!!! What opportunity prompts women more to feverishly clean their house like having company? Don't know, that's why I love it!

Now, maybe it's because I'm moderately OCD and when I go to peoples houses, I look. I look to see if the dust collects like it does at my house and if people wipe around the trinkets and lamps or if they actually pick stuff up, to see if other people end up with toothpaste on their bathroom mirror like I do, and if the vacuum lines stop around the coffee table or go all the way under!! (Watch, no one is going to invite me over to their house anymore after reading this!!!) I won't tell you what else I look for, because I'm actually proving my OCDness! Damnit!

I look, therefore, I clean. Oddly enough, my favorite time to clean is either early Saturday or Sunday Morning or at night, preferably after 9-9:30. Random, I know, and it drives Carlos crazy!

The second thing is, when you go to someones house, what do you do? Call and ask what you can bring, right? Standard procedure if you ask me, but maybe I'm the weird one or maybe it's a era thing. Now, here's my beef. If you call and they politely decline your offer to bring anything, do you show up, as expected, and empty handed? or do you bring SOMETHING for the host? A candle, a plant, something extra for dessert, a bottle of wine???

I seriously would appreciate some feedback on this one! I'm at a loss.... I hear that bringing something for your host is etiquette that died 30 years ago, or I hear that showing up, without anything it totally ok. I don't know...tell me what you think!

Men....

My big question of the day is:

Why do men shut down, like a bank on a holiday when things start to get emotional???

No transactions...no deposit, no withdrawal...except for them withdrawing from the conversation.
I'm not asking for them to spill their guts, Dr. Phil style, but you know...a little participation would be nice.

I love Carlos, love him to death, please don't get me wrong. But he is as solid as an oak when it comes to looking at the inner grains. Maybe it's us women?? I vouch that if men had to change their ENTIRE body chemistry once a month and then in that same month, wrangle it back to normal, they would be a little cranky too, and a little emotional!

We all wish we could be a psychic and probe the inner workings of our men's minds to try and figure out what he means when he says what he does... but I sometimes wonder if we actually heard what was going on in their heads, it would sound a bit like a Petsmart commercial. Throw your man a bone(Take that any way you'd like), give him a nice warm bed at night, nice wholesome natural ingredients in his food and the leisure to relieve himself at any given time...and he's a happy camper!

Why are women so much more complex? You got me. We're the easy ones to figure out. you get a couple of us together and all you have to do is start sentences and the others know exactly what they are gonna talk about or say next. Duh...it's not that hard to catch on.

I have to give Carlos a great deal of credit though. He is more in-tuned with me than anyone else ever has been. And he really seems to care about what I'm thinking and feeling, at least it feels that way!

Who knew? The first guy I date that's younger than me and has more intelligence, and maturity than all the other men I've dated...COMBINED!!!!

Love you baby! You're the best!